Vacation. Good or Bad Thing?

Last week I was talking to my mother on the phone and we just started talking about my plans until the 2nd. I said I wasn't doing anyhting and so my parents offered to fly up to Chicago with them to visit my sister. So I went! It was so quick and I am having a nice relaxing trip. However, there is that one problem with vacation.... eating. Fortunately, my sister Adrienne is crazy good at this diet and exercise thing and has helped me tremendously to keep on track. For example, last night we went to this AMAZING pizza joint called Piece. Ugh that pizza was amazing. I kept shoveling salad into my face to attempt avoiding eating too much pizza. It worked...kinda.




Obama is here too... heeeey baba.

I am SO ready to get to my job at Quartz Mountain. I am the "Acting Liaison" at an arts summer camp for the best of the best high school student in Oklahoma. Every morning at 8am is a movement/exercise dance class that will start my long days of hard work for three solid weeks. I'm so ready. That will be a great way for me to get this vacation off my love-handles.

Today, me, Adrienne and my Dad went running for three miles. This is proof that i'm doing something up here :)

Happy Memorial Day.
Ryan

A New Day

Well it has been a very slow recovery process. I am creeping back into my old routine. I still am not working out enough but I am doing more to get this process moving again. (This is one down side to summer and free time). It is so hard not having a gym. I thought I would be okay without the Huff, but ever since it closed to only summer school student, I feel like an abandoned pet. I just wonder around wondering where to work out. I am not disciplined enough to do my workout DVDs every single day mainly because I get bored of the same dvd. However, we have to talk about something. My favorite dvd right now. I can only do it like twice a week right now but I want to start doing it more.



I love her. She is such a hard ass but I feel like I can actually do these workouts rather than killing myself with Insanity or P90X. I'm just not in good enough shape for those yet. I also have her 30 Day Shred dvd which is GREAT. I think I might get into that to get me on a better workout regimen.... hmmm. YES! that's what i'll do.

As for eating... all I have to say is.. SH*T. I am doing so freaking BAD. I just want someone to shake me and say "ARE YOU SOME KIND OF IDIOT?!" I have been eating fast food every night this week at like 2am. Mainly because that is what my skinny friends do and I just follow suit like in my old days. We stay up late and get hungry. I. HAVE. TO. STOP. The next time one of you readers sees me, just give me a good old slap in face. I need it.
It ends today. I'm going to go workout right now then for the remainder of my life, I am eating better. In fact, after the gym (which i will break into an apartment complex gym and workout there..) I am going to the store and buying Lean Cuisines). It stops today.

Love you all. Even if you just read this, you are helping me more than you know.

Ry

Oh and the reason I have freaked out? It's because I've gained weight. Yeah. FML.

Confession Time

Okay. As you can tell (and as my sister pointed out), my blogging has become few and far in between and when I do, it is about nothing special. I'm not doing well you guys. This past week has taken a mean turn in terms of dieting and exercise. I'm terrified of stepping on the scale. To be perfectly honest, I have to say that the last time i worked out was last Thursday. I freaking hate it. I lost my student ID, so that alone threw off my routine. Then I had millions of finals and felt like I didn't have time to even breathe. Then Summer hit. I didn't make the show I dreamed about making for years and that got me depressed. So there have just been a number of events that have broken the pattern i worked so hard at creating. I hate it.

SO. I have a plan... ish. I think I'm just going to go at tomorrow like all this never happened. I'm going to wake up, go to the gym (or do a Jillian DVD), then plan my meals. I am now in a Intercession night class from 5-10, so that will help distract me bad habits.

I'm just so disappointed in myself. I hit 219 lbs and I was so pumped and ready to take the world on by storm, then I just completely dropped the ball. I felt so gross and fat today that it's not even funny. I know I sound like some anorexic celebrity model, but it's the truth. I didn't want to even be out in public. Wow that's embarrassing to admit... but I felt the need to spill all the beans.

I need to go to the grocery store and not eat out at all this week, really. Here's my problem. I love my friends. I love them so much I don't want to miss out on a single thing. Today is a perfect example. I woke up, at a lean cuisine, then Emily called and wanted to go to Charleston's to eat. Even though I already ate, I went. AND I ORDERED A MEAL?! What is wrong with me?!?! Ugh it makes me so sad. I just don't want to be left out and our common ground is food. I have to just tell them that eating out is simply not an option for me. I have to stick to what is right and what I know is good for me. I ate ice cream TWICE yesterday. And in large quantities. I'm such a failure. Okay, that was a little mellow dramatic, but I'm just upset.

I also lost a huge driving force for me this past week. I kept thinking about how I needed to get skinnier for Rent auditions and (hopefully) the show. Well, as it turns out, I didn't make it in the cast. Which is fine, it's just that was such a hefty force and incentive for me and now it's gone. I got into this mentality of "Well now I have nothing to look forward to. I tried to get into the best shape I could and STILL, nothing paid off. What's the point of even continuing on?" Don't worry, I have snapped out of that childish phase, but it was just hard to pick myself up, and now I'm feeling the repercussions. I just need to take some time and figure what the next target is. I have several so it won't be difficult, I just need to really set into it. (This may not make any since to you, but it does to me...)

Today is a new day. New possibilities and new goals. Get back on track and keep working on getting my body healthy again. I can do this. Obstacles were made to overcome.

Night

Day ....?

I don't really have time to write much axcept that ITS BEEN SO LONG! I'm sorry for not keeping up as well as I had hoped to. These last two weeks have been absolutely ridiculous in terms of extra time. On top of the fact that I had not time... I also had no internet. Guess what happens when you're late on your cable bill... woops :) But now it's back on! So let the blogging ensue.

So it's been more that a month now! WOOHOO! So excited about that and also kinda excited about my current weight. Ready for this? 219. IM IN THE TEENS BABY! It's been a long time since i've see those numbers. I'm also kinda surprised. I mean this week has really divided my attention and my weight loss has fallen though the cracks a bit. I barely have enough time to sleep. Hints the fact that im blogging at 3:00 in the morning. UGH. Finals week SUCKS. I did just finish my Rent callbacks for Collins. I had a blast but who the hell knows what's going to happen. I think it helps my chances that I have dropped these extra pounds and now have all summer to drop even more. We'll see. I'll keep you updates.

There has just been so much that has happened these past few weeks that I'm not going to BEGIN to bore you with the details but all you need to know is I'm doing great feelin good, and ready to keep plowin through.

NIGHT!

Day 27

Tomorrow is officially one month since I started this shin-dig. Insane. Just a thought...

This week has been interesting. The first half of my week was just great. I felt awesome cause I had hit the 10 lb marker and then things started to kinda fall apart. I am now at this point where I am almost addicted to working out. I feel awful at the end of the day if I don't do it. Well this weekend sucked for that reason. Don't get me wrong, I still had a great time this weekend with Chorus Line opening and all kinds of fun stuff like that... I just didn't accomplish all I had hoped I would by the end of one month. I dont think I lost any weight this week :( Which is fine I guess, I just wish I had tried harder this week. I have been slacking off more than usual. But today is new day and a new week. A week of being responsible and accountable for my actions.

OH! I didn't tell yall, but last Wednesday I met with Silvia again. This time was even more ridiculous. She is a hard ass. I did a bunch of floor work like pushups and sit-ups and lunges and crap like that. It hurt like a mo. Especially these side pushup things. you lie on your side and cross the arm that's against the ground and grab the opposite shoulder with it. Then with the free arm, you push off the floor doing these side pushups. I was screaming. Literally screaming. Super embarrassing but that's what I pay her for...

Mom and Dad came yesterday as a nice little day visit and Mom took me to Target to get some groceries. Thank GOD. I literally had nothing to eat in my house. I was so tired of eating subway and grilled chicken sandwiches it's not even funny. She bought me a George Foreman Grill! Super stoked about that one. And just bought a bunch of great salad materials and healthy eats. I'm ready to work really hard on this week. Even though this week is gonna SUCK with my 9,000 finals including piano... but still. I'm gonna kill it.

HELPFUL HINT!!! Silvia told me to try interval training on the Elliptical or treadmill. She said to try going for 40 minutes (or whatever time) at interchanging speeds. For one minute go at an easier pace, then for the next two minutes go at a challenging pace and keep that going throughout the entire workout. This will speed up your metabolism and keep your heart rate up. In never allows your body to get used to your workout. All about that muscle confusion!

Have a great Sunday everyone! One month TOMORROW!