Minor freakout...

So I was just sitting and watching "I Used to Be Fat" on MTV.... never watched it before, but it struck my interest. Well, in it, the trainer came into the girl's room and put up this enormous calendar that had one sheet of paper for every day until she reached her goal. Her prom or something was in 111 days, so there was a sheet for every day. Well i thought to myself, "Hm. Well I have a gaol like that. Spring Break. I wanna be supper fine when I go to NY to audition. But that's 3 months away, so I'm fine, right?"
WRONG! I leave for New York in 71 days!!!

I HAVE to really focus. I feel like I have been going so half assed lately and I am running out of time. I want to lose another 30 lbs in 71 days. Doable? NO IDEA. But I am gonna try my damn hardest to get it.

Biggest Loser... ME!

I know I have been sucking on this blogging train, but I really need to stay with it. It helped me through so many hard times during this process and it would be a damn shame if i gave up on it now.

Just a little update... I am about to enter the last semester of my educational career and I'm so motivated to keep kicking ass. I was on the P90X train for about one month until i through my back out. I went through a lot of pain and recovery time where i struggled to keep that weight off that i worked so hard to shred. Once my back had time to heal, I was back to where i started. Eating poorly and not exercising. I lost my momentum and i really began to take its tole on not only my body, but my mind. However, about a month ago i slowly got back into play. I began eating better and focusing more on my goals. However, though i was slowly losing weight, I wasn't working out. I knew I had to get back in it. Then Christmas break hit.

Most people would throw everything out the window during the holiday season.... but not me! My AMAZING sister/ workout buddy came to my rescue. I have workout almost everyday for the past week with her and i feel GREAT! She takes me running on the Canyon Lake dam and I make her do P90 with me. I have been alternating running and P90X each day. Today I did Insanity for the first time and felt great about it. Kicked my ass.... but it felt awesome to know what my body can do.

So long story short... I have 3 months to get my body where I know it can be. (FYI.. in 3 month I fly to NYC and audition for casting directors and agents over spring break.... hints the strong motivation.)

I know I can do it. I'm back to into my workout addiction and I'm feeling good about my diet. Now lets see what I can do!

Thanks ya'll
Happy Holidays!

Last weigh in before break (about 2 weeks ago) ... 205. Getting close!

I'm BACK!!! (again)

First of all... I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up on my blogging. I lost it this summer since I was on the go so much, but now I'M BACK! It feels good too. This blog really helped me start off this whole weight loss process. Much more than I had initially anticipated. I was think about it today, and I have been very consistent with this since I began back in march. Not to say that I have been perfect... cuz lord knows I have not been. There have been many a day where I made extremely regrettable fooding decisions. BUT, that being said, I'm so ready to let you know all about my life since July!

SO. Guess what my new journey Ryan Wood has begun to embark upon....? That's right ladies and gents. I have jumped on the P90X train!!!! And week one is DOWN! Aubrey and I started a little over a week ago with P90X plus. Bad idea. It's the workout you do AFTER you finish the regular P90X. Needless to say, Aubs and I had to get the regular P90.... cuz there was no way we would make it through that. But I LOVE it!! It kicks my ass, and I am all about it. It is a 90 day trek so I'm trying to stay optimistic about the whole thing. Fingers crossed!

I haven't weighed myself since I got back from the cruise. I was 214. it has been a month. i would love it if I were somewhere between 205 and 210 now. I'll weigh myself tomorrow so i'll let you know. I'm nervous. ah.

Now I'm off to begin week 2 of P90. It's chest and Back. ouch.

Till next time.
Happy to be back!!!

I have been living in NYC for about a week now. It has been so great getting too see old friends and reconnect with people. HOWEVER, the number one problem I KNEW I was going to run into came to play. Eating out is killing me. The past two days have been tremendously better though (aside from the whole bag of smartpop popcorn I ate yesterday...). I ran in Central Park yesterday (and by ran I mean walked for the majority. It was hot, ok.) and I have been eating at home or packing a meal to take somewhere. Last night I met Katie Reid and Glenn Giron for a picnic dinner in the park and I packed a little salad and a PB&J sandwich. So good. ON the other hand, the other issue is not only is it hard to eat out when dieting, it's MORE difficult when eating out while broke. I am so broke from this town it's not even funny. There is so much to spend your money on and you don't even realize it till its gone. I think the thing that hurt the most was the $90 subway pass. That one hurt.

Anyway, I joined the New York Sports Club yesterday! I am SO excited to have a gym here. I didn't think I would need it at first, that I could just run everyday (dumb). WRONG. It has gotten so hot here that even walking outside is miserable. Apparently it's supposed to cool off this weekend, but for now, it's terrible. So I joined a gym. $30 for 30 days. Good deal. Especially since I leave in 30 days and would not have been able to sign any contract.

ATTENTION NEW YORKERS! If you have ANY tips for me on staying healthy in the city, PLEASE let me know. I feel like I'm figuring it out bit by bit, but would love to have some suggestions. i.e., where you buy good whole foods, how often you cook at home, where are good places to eat out and still eat well, etc.

I have no scale here. I guess it will be a big surprise when I get out of New York... I'm nervous.

Till next time
ry

IM BACK! (well...kinda)

So I am back from an amazing experience at Quartz Mountain. Really wonderful. The people were amazing, the kids were talented, the faculty was incredible. I could go on and on, but I won't. Just know that I had a great time and I would do it again in a heartbeat. AND I lost a little weight. Not as easily as I thought I would, though. I have to say, even though I was working hard and trying to work out, the food just held me back! We had buffet style food for every meal and I cant only intake so much lettuce in two weeks time. SO at times the food was of no help to me. But the place was GORGEOUS and it made going for a run much more enjoyable. I'm saying I lost around 3 lbs while I was there. Not gonna lie, I was hoping for something like 10 lbs... but i guess three is more realistic.

But NOW I am in the city that never sleeps!



NEW YORK BABY! I am here for about 6 weeks to just audition, learn the city, and my main focus, learn how to live a healthy lifestyle in NYC. My first day (aka yesterday) I took an amazing jog in Central Park. It was about 77 degrees outside, nice breeze going, sun shinning, it was so great. I am going to try to run 6 days a week. Okay not TRY to run.. I WILL run six days a week. I don't have a job so lord know I have the time.

The key for me is trying not to eat out. Not only is it SO expensive here, but it is hard finding healthy options in a new place. So I went to the grocery store yesterday and dropped $60 on what seemed like not a lot of food. So now I have the means of eating at home, which is great. I think were my downfall will be is at bars. I love to drink and go out with friends, but I'm worried I'm going to drink all my calories (and dollars...) We'll see how it goes.

Now I'm off to try on clothes for motivational purposes...

Hello, New York!

I'm OFF!

I don't have much time so this one will be short.

BUT I'm off to work at The Oklahoma Summer Arts Institute at Quartz Mountain! I am SUPER excited. I'm gonna be there for the month of June and no internet :( so don't expect any updates.




One HUGE reason I am so excited about it... because I those weeks are gonna be so great for my weight loss!!! Long days and cafateria food. (I'm bringing my own healthy bars though...) and a lot of outdoor time. I'm gonna try to run every morning before class (we'll see how that goes.. lol) But I'm really excited and optimistic and I cant wait to report to everybody when I get back!!!

Here I go!

Much love!!!

Ry

Vacation. Good or Bad Thing?

Last week I was talking to my mother on the phone and we just started talking about my plans until the 2nd. I said I wasn't doing anyhting and so my parents offered to fly up to Chicago with them to visit my sister. So I went! It was so quick and I am having a nice relaxing trip. However, there is that one problem with vacation.... eating. Fortunately, my sister Adrienne is crazy good at this diet and exercise thing and has helped me tremendously to keep on track. For example, last night we went to this AMAZING pizza joint called Piece. Ugh that pizza was amazing. I kept shoveling salad into my face to attempt avoiding eating too much pizza. It worked...kinda.




Obama is here too... heeeey baba.

I am SO ready to get to my job at Quartz Mountain. I am the "Acting Liaison" at an arts summer camp for the best of the best high school student in Oklahoma. Every morning at 8am is a movement/exercise dance class that will start my long days of hard work for three solid weeks. I'm so ready. That will be a great way for me to get this vacation off my love-handles.

Today, me, Adrienne and my Dad went running for three miles. This is proof that i'm doing something up here :)

Happy Memorial Day.
Ryan

A New Day

Well it has been a very slow recovery process. I am creeping back into my old routine. I still am not working out enough but I am doing more to get this process moving again. (This is one down side to summer and free time). It is so hard not having a gym. I thought I would be okay without the Huff, but ever since it closed to only summer school student, I feel like an abandoned pet. I just wonder around wondering where to work out. I am not disciplined enough to do my workout DVDs every single day mainly because I get bored of the same dvd. However, we have to talk about something. My favorite dvd right now. I can only do it like twice a week right now but I want to start doing it more.



I love her. She is such a hard ass but I feel like I can actually do these workouts rather than killing myself with Insanity or P90X. I'm just not in good enough shape for those yet. I also have her 30 Day Shred dvd which is GREAT. I think I might get into that to get me on a better workout regimen.... hmmm. YES! that's what i'll do.

As for eating... all I have to say is.. SH*T. I am doing so freaking BAD. I just want someone to shake me and say "ARE YOU SOME KIND OF IDIOT?!" I have been eating fast food every night this week at like 2am. Mainly because that is what my skinny friends do and I just follow suit like in my old days. We stay up late and get hungry. I. HAVE. TO. STOP. The next time one of you readers sees me, just give me a good old slap in face. I need it.
It ends today. I'm going to go workout right now then for the remainder of my life, I am eating better. In fact, after the gym (which i will break into an apartment complex gym and workout there..) I am going to the store and buying Lean Cuisines). It stops today.

Love you all. Even if you just read this, you are helping me more than you know.

Ry

Oh and the reason I have freaked out? It's because I've gained weight. Yeah. FML.

Confession Time

Okay. As you can tell (and as my sister pointed out), my blogging has become few and far in between and when I do, it is about nothing special. I'm not doing well you guys. This past week has taken a mean turn in terms of dieting and exercise. I'm terrified of stepping on the scale. To be perfectly honest, I have to say that the last time i worked out was last Thursday. I freaking hate it. I lost my student ID, so that alone threw off my routine. Then I had millions of finals and felt like I didn't have time to even breathe. Then Summer hit. I didn't make the show I dreamed about making for years and that got me depressed. So there have just been a number of events that have broken the pattern i worked so hard at creating. I hate it.

SO. I have a plan... ish. I think I'm just going to go at tomorrow like all this never happened. I'm going to wake up, go to the gym (or do a Jillian DVD), then plan my meals. I am now in a Intercession night class from 5-10, so that will help distract me bad habits.

I'm just so disappointed in myself. I hit 219 lbs and I was so pumped and ready to take the world on by storm, then I just completely dropped the ball. I felt so gross and fat today that it's not even funny. I know I sound like some anorexic celebrity model, but it's the truth. I didn't want to even be out in public. Wow that's embarrassing to admit... but I felt the need to spill all the beans.

I need to go to the grocery store and not eat out at all this week, really. Here's my problem. I love my friends. I love them so much I don't want to miss out on a single thing. Today is a perfect example. I woke up, at a lean cuisine, then Emily called and wanted to go to Charleston's to eat. Even though I already ate, I went. AND I ORDERED A MEAL?! What is wrong with me?!?! Ugh it makes me so sad. I just don't want to be left out and our common ground is food. I have to just tell them that eating out is simply not an option for me. I have to stick to what is right and what I know is good for me. I ate ice cream TWICE yesterday. And in large quantities. I'm such a failure. Okay, that was a little mellow dramatic, but I'm just upset.

I also lost a huge driving force for me this past week. I kept thinking about how I needed to get skinnier for Rent auditions and (hopefully) the show. Well, as it turns out, I didn't make it in the cast. Which is fine, it's just that was such a hefty force and incentive for me and now it's gone. I got into this mentality of "Well now I have nothing to look forward to. I tried to get into the best shape I could and STILL, nothing paid off. What's the point of even continuing on?" Don't worry, I have snapped out of that childish phase, but it was just hard to pick myself up, and now I'm feeling the repercussions. I just need to take some time and figure what the next target is. I have several so it won't be difficult, I just need to really set into it. (This may not make any since to you, but it does to me...)

Today is a new day. New possibilities and new goals. Get back on track and keep working on getting my body healthy again. I can do this. Obstacles were made to overcome.

Night

Day ....?

I don't really have time to write much axcept that ITS BEEN SO LONG! I'm sorry for not keeping up as well as I had hoped to. These last two weeks have been absolutely ridiculous in terms of extra time. On top of the fact that I had not time... I also had no internet. Guess what happens when you're late on your cable bill... woops :) But now it's back on! So let the blogging ensue.

So it's been more that a month now! WOOHOO! So excited about that and also kinda excited about my current weight. Ready for this? 219. IM IN THE TEENS BABY! It's been a long time since i've see those numbers. I'm also kinda surprised. I mean this week has really divided my attention and my weight loss has fallen though the cracks a bit. I barely have enough time to sleep. Hints the fact that im blogging at 3:00 in the morning. UGH. Finals week SUCKS. I did just finish my Rent callbacks for Collins. I had a blast but who the hell knows what's going to happen. I think it helps my chances that I have dropped these extra pounds and now have all summer to drop even more. We'll see. I'll keep you updates.

There has just been so much that has happened these past few weeks that I'm not going to BEGIN to bore you with the details but all you need to know is I'm doing great feelin good, and ready to keep plowin through.

NIGHT!

Day 27

Tomorrow is officially one month since I started this shin-dig. Insane. Just a thought...

This week has been interesting. The first half of my week was just great. I felt awesome cause I had hit the 10 lb marker and then things started to kinda fall apart. I am now at this point where I am almost addicted to working out. I feel awful at the end of the day if I don't do it. Well this weekend sucked for that reason. Don't get me wrong, I still had a great time this weekend with Chorus Line opening and all kinds of fun stuff like that... I just didn't accomplish all I had hoped I would by the end of one month. I dont think I lost any weight this week :( Which is fine I guess, I just wish I had tried harder this week. I have been slacking off more than usual. But today is new day and a new week. A week of being responsible and accountable for my actions.

OH! I didn't tell yall, but last Wednesday I met with Silvia again. This time was even more ridiculous. She is a hard ass. I did a bunch of floor work like pushups and sit-ups and lunges and crap like that. It hurt like a mo. Especially these side pushup things. you lie on your side and cross the arm that's against the ground and grab the opposite shoulder with it. Then with the free arm, you push off the floor doing these side pushups. I was screaming. Literally screaming. Super embarrassing but that's what I pay her for...

Mom and Dad came yesterday as a nice little day visit and Mom took me to Target to get some groceries. Thank GOD. I literally had nothing to eat in my house. I was so tired of eating subway and grilled chicken sandwiches it's not even funny. She bought me a George Foreman Grill! Super stoked about that one. And just bought a bunch of great salad materials and healthy eats. I'm ready to work really hard on this week. Even though this week is gonna SUCK with my 9,000 finals including piano... but still. I'm gonna kill it.

HELPFUL HINT!!! Silvia told me to try interval training on the Elliptical or treadmill. She said to try going for 40 minutes (or whatever time) at interchanging speeds. For one minute go at an easier pace, then for the next two minutes go at a challenging pace and keep that going throughout the entire workout. This will speed up your metabolism and keep your heart rate up. In never allows your body to get used to your workout. All about that muscle confusion!

Have a great Sunday everyone! One month TOMORROW!

Week Three DONE

Ok lets have a drum roll please.... I haven't weighed myself in one week and now, three weeks into it......

I HAVE LOST 10 LBS!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!

I am so ridiculously excited. This past week has been kinda stressful for me so all week I had been worrying about how well I was (or wasn't) doing. But I did it! My first ten pounds is GONE. The funny thing is is that I don't feel ten pounds lighter... I guess when you are my size, ten lbs doesn't seem like much. I'm just so pumped about it and ready to keep going.

I was especially nervous and kinda disappointed in myself because I took friday as my rest day for the week. However, then Saturday came along when K Love, Jordan and myself took an impromptu road trip down to Sam Houston, Texas to see some friends in Rent and I never worked out. So I have now gone 2 days without a single excercise. Shame on myself, I know. I just had to fess up about it.

SO now I am off to the gym to do my new workout that Silvia gave me and kick my own ass! Hopefully this time I won't vomit :)

btw... I would LOVE some new recipes if anyone has any favorites. (Thank you Hartleigh for those by the way! Love them and you!) I am going to go grocery shopping tonight of tomorrow and I have a goal of cooking dinner at least five times a week this week.

Thanks for the continued support every one. I really couldn't have done it without.

Much Love!

Two Weeks Later...

It's been two weeks now as of yesterday! YAY!!! I am thrilled that I've managed to survive this long. I have to say... this may be the longest I have ever stuck to a diet in my life. I realize two weeks is not a very long time... but this is precisely I am the size I am.

Today was the hardest day of my LIFE. I have tap on tuesdays/thursdays, so usually i just do 30 minutes on the Elliptical. However today I had the brilliant idea of scheduling a workout with Silvia. WORST IDEA EVER. Not only did Tap kick my ass, but right after I had to run to the Huff to meet Silvia. I though tap was hard.... I thew up during my workout. I guess thats a good thing? kinda?

The session was amazing though. I love all the workouts she gave me and they were totally doable. I cant wait to do them again! (Just not right at this moment. Kinda wanna die right now.) She told me to do them just twice a week for now, but once I start getting into the routine, I should try and do it three times. I'm super pumped.

I'm scared to weigh myself. I still feel like I did when I started. I feel like I haven't dropped much weight. I mean some things are fitting easier, like I talked about a in my last post (I think), but I still feel as if not much has really changed. Hopefully it's just in my head and I am losing weight. It's just slow! I guess only time will tell, right?

Day 12 (i think..)

Happy friday! ugh thank the LORD it's the weekend. I've needed it real bad.

Everything has been going so well for me. Someone asked me the other day about how I felt now with this new lifestyle change. I said that I didnt really feel any different physically. I mean I was still excited, but I just still was not really feeling or looking any different. I was just wanting results and of course, it's just too soon. BUT today was different for me. I noticed some things about myself in this new life. I happened to pass a mirror and I caught my profile out of the corner of my eye. Usually that makes me cringe because that is when I feel I look the fattest, my profile. However, I saw my profile and I DIDNT cringe! I mean this only just skims the surface and I have so far to go, but I was still really excited. My clothes are starting to fit looser and I just feel so much better about myself. Even eating better is geting more in my head and my body. I am thinking less about how well I've eaten and worrying so much about it, and beginning to just live.

Don't get me wrong though, I am not going to relax into this. I still have a whole lot of drive in me and when a shirt starts to button a little easier, that just motivates me the more.

In three weeks I have Assessments for the OU Musical Theatre faculty. In this, we have to get up in front of them and sing a 3 minute song that fits our "type". Something we could go audition for and book, today. Something we could play right now. It was unreal how hard It was for me to pick a role I am perfect for right now. I mean I could find some, but I just feel like there are so many roles out there that I could totally play, but just don't physically look the part. This got me down a little. It made me realize that, with this weight on me, it's keeping me from so many potential roles that are MY AGE. I am NOT Nathan Lane. He is a 40 something-year-old fat man. I am more than half his age. I cant play that right now!? But I cant play roles my age either. So I'm thinking, "shit. I gotta lose weight."

Things like this depress me, but then they end up just making me that much stronger in the long run.

Day Nine

Ugh. I feel like it's day 15253. Not really I'm just being dramatic because it's been a long week... and it's only tuesday. But I still feel good. I have been having more weak moments recently, though. Nothing huge, it's just I could be doing better. Like today I ate at Chipotle for dinner and consumed 690 calories in one sitting. Terrible. BUT that is the last thing I am eating today so I am still within my 1500-1700 calorie range. I just keep putting off going to the grocery because I just have NO money. Im so broke right now. Being broke when on this new lifestyle change... not easy.

My sister called the other day and said I should get a scale for my food. She said that way I can weigh my meats and such and have a much more accurate calorie count. So as soon I am less broke. Im gettin' one. Along with some groceries.

I am still struggling with late night snacking, though. I think that is my worst enemy. I hate it. I find I have to just get out of the house so I stop snacking. It's horrible. Anyone have like a special thing they do to help them, cause I got nothin. I don't want to go all day doing great, then in three bites, ruin it all.

OH I had my session with my personal trainer yesterday!!! She was so great. Her name is Silvia and I love her. We didn't do much workout wise, just a series of a bunch of tests. Nothing more embarrassing than a BMI, i'll tell ya that right now...
I'm gonna meet with her again next week and get some workouts together. I pumped!

Off to memorize some Shakespeare. kill me.

Week One DOWN!

So as of today, I have been going strong for a week now. Sadly, I feel like its been a whole lot longer though... Not to say I'm not having a good experience, it's just moving slowly. I think my problem lies in the fact that all the "diets" i've done in the past two years have been really jank "diets" like The Hollywood diet or the Anorexia diet.... I would lose tons of weight in like three days. (The Hollywood diet made me lose 9 lbs in 3 days... healthy? I think not.) Besides I just gained all that weight right back and then added on some more! ugh fml.

But I weighed myself tonight after a week of not doing it. I was a little disheartened at first but then I though, "hey, if I want to lose two lbs a week at least... then I'm doing great!"

After week 1, I weigh 230

Not too shabby eh? I think I can even be working harder too. I usually just do 30 minutes a day on the Elliptical, but today Mack and I did 40! AND it wasn't all that bad! So I'm still going strong, world.

Next step.... start cooking at home.

Oh and sparkpeople.com is changing my life. If you have an iphone, get it NOW. Thanks everyone that suggested it!

PERSONAL TRAINER TOMORROW!!! AHHH WISH ME LUCK!!! it's gonna kick my fat ass....

G'night! Off to play late night volleyball!

Day Four (and an awesome one at that)

So I had a rough day yesterday.... but if you go back to the last post you will read that I said I was going to kick ass today. weeeell I did. I ROCKED today! I ate really well and kept track of calories and everything.

Also, tap got cancelled and instead of being a lazy bum... I went with Chelsea to swim at the University pool. It was hard has hell but I did it. Oh and we swam next to Bob Stoops. He said we had good form (.... not really.... but I know he thought it).

Then tonight I went to the Gym with Mackenzie. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, 10 minutes on arms, and about a minute and a half on abs..... they were sore.

Not to have an excuse for not working out yesterday and eating less than great, but when Sky got home from rehearsal last night I made him do abs with me. We call it "Taurean Abs" because this amazingly buff guy Sky worked with named Taurean taught it to him. It's intense and so great. I love it. I'll break it down soon and yall can try it at home. It's really great with music :)

I HAVE to start cooking, though. Eating out just scares me even though I know I can eat healthy at some places. I just don't want to slip. I ate subway for dinner. So i'm good.

Night!

Day Three

So today was a strange day. I had a huge paper due that I put off forever that was due by midnight tonight. I submitted It by 11:59. Cutting it close a bit? Absolutely. But I felt good about today.... kinda. I feel weird because I drank tonight. I think of all things... this might be the hardest part. Learning how to drink on my "lifestyle change". I went over to a friends house and ate a bunch of crackers and hummus. I don't 100% regret that choice because I did not eat very many calories before I went.

Here's what I ate prior to the get-together:

2 (100 calorie) breakfast bars
a char-grilled chick-filet sanwich (410)
and a chicken brest

TOTAL - around 800 calories

not very much which i KNOW is bad. BUT I think I definitely reached my gaol with the cocktails and crackers.

ready for the kicker???....

I DIDNT WORK OUT TODAY!!! AHHHH!!! Im so upset about it. Im on day three and already I dropped the ball! In fact... I may go run now. No, I had one too many cocktails I think...

So tomorrow, instead of running for 30 minutes... I'm gonna workout AND swim. Our gym has an indoor pool and I have needed excuse to do it so... when better that now, right? But YELL AT ME! I EFFED UP!!!! I feel like crap for not working out.... ugh

Tomorrow Im kickin ass and takin names, yall! Im gonna be better. I am doing this for ME. As for tonight, Im gonna do some crunches with Chris then call it a night. Its something right?

Day TWO (But kinda one...)

WOW. I don't even know how else to say it. I am so shocked and just thrilled about how many people have already sent me support and suggestions. I have to say... it's a lot to retain, but I am going to try. I mean I already took some of the comments and ran with them. J Ho... I got a personal trainer today at the gym and I'm super pumped/ terrified. THANK YOU THANK THANK YOU!!! This is exactly the kind of feedback I was hoping for. So dont get bored with me! haha keep it up guys! I love you all dearly.

The strange thing is is that I thought this first week would be the easiest.... but I'm only on day two and the gym kicked me ASS today. I ran on the Elliptical for 30 minutes and the last five minutes I thought were going to be the death of me. Ugh it was terrible. BUT FEAR NOT. I am still not scared. I know it's going to hurt. Especially now when I am the most out of shape I have ever been in.

Now a lot of the comments yesterday said that my goals were a bit off perhaps. Thank you for telling me but honestly... I have no way of knowing how to properly set a goal for myself. So I kinda just took a stab in the dark. Any thoughts?

Today at dinner Emily ordered chips and artichoke dip.... and i didn't eat a single ONE!!! .....just about killed me. I had a chicken salad with like a tablespoon of dressing. proud? I was.

ps, did anyone notice that i named my web adress ryanlosing S weight.blogspot.com? Where the dump did that "S" come from. Damn. I dont know if i should even fix that....


So again,,, thank you all so very much and keep on following me! These first two weeks are crucial . I got this.

DAY ONE!!!!!

Well I guess I should start by saying hello to the world of blogging. The last time I blogged was probably when I was sixteen on Xanga crying about how no one loves me (with gay undertones of course). So here I am! Pumped and ready to start getting my life in order.

The past few months have really opened my eyes about how being out of shape affects my success as an actor. I spent every weekend for a month in a row traveling all over the country, auditioning for theaters to get ANY job. I guess I was maybe a little cocky in that I thought FOR SURE I just had to get something from all this work. I was in for a rude awakening. Don't get me wrong though... I am not saying that my weight is the only reason I can't get cast, but I know it plays a huge role.

So here I go!!! My goal with this blog is to have my friends and family (and possible followers? maybe? could be fun?) send words of encouragement, tips, suggestions, anything to help me reach my goal and be the best performer I can be.

Here's the big moment. My starting weight. After I tell you this, that is motivation enough for at least the first 10 pounds or so....

but first....

1st Goal: (May 5 - 1 Month) - 210 lbs

2nd Goal: (June 5 - 2 Months) - 199 lbs

Starting Weight - 234 lbs (yikes)

So that's it. Send me some positive energy and words of encouragement if you can, because I am ready to prove to the world that I CAN do this.